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Manic Megan

Embrace
the
Journey.
Honest. Raw. Emotional. Healing.
My life, (basically) uncensored.


Life-Changing Mirror: Part II - Clarity, A Sign of Hope
"Realize it's not personal; people act out of their own traumas and emotional problems from way back, not because of you." – Robert Greene Often times, the “why” of #behavior, #beliefs, and #morals comes from experienced # trauma. While some believe if you process #trauma, it won’t have a negative impact. My experience is that it takes away the possibility of re-traumatizing, but it does not take away the memory or the meaning. When an individual tells me about an ongoing rea
4 days ago5 min read


Life-Changing Mirror: Part I - The Roommate
I had a rather interesting conversation the other day with a woman named Evy. Her opening line was, “I don’t want you to take what I’m about to say personally, but I really need advice on two things.” In the past, my first impulse was to say and feel something along the lines of, “Oh, greatttttt. Meaning it is directed at me.” #Sarcasm is something that comes easily to me, and is often attempted to shield potential anger. I decided to move forward with the #oppositeaction, I
7 days ago5 min read


Put Me in a Mixer and Watch Me Spin
When I was a child, I knew for certain I was going to be a veterinarian and live on a farm. When I was an adolescent, I thoroughly intended on being the first female president of the United States (or when feeling less grandiose, a social worker). When I was a teenager, I had no aspirations to be much of anything for longer than 10 minutes. The way I saw it, I was lucky to still be alive. In retrospect, I often think that I was too afraid of failure to really carve out what I
May 193 min read


WTF?!
“Can’t wait to get past whatever the fucking fuck this season is in my life right now – because seriously, what the fuck?!” There have been a number of times in my life this exact thought has not just crossed, but planted, itself in my mind. As an adolescent, it was finding out that my two best friends were going to boarding school so I would be headed to the local public high school, alone. Add in a little #socialanxiety and a horrific lack of #selfesteem, it was a recipe fo
May 192 min read


Peace be with You
I think peace looks really different when you have to fight so hard for it. I’m currently experiencing the most peaceful crash out ever. Like everything is falling apart a little. I’m #stressed, #overwhelmed, and slightly losing it .. but also #relaxing, #vibing, and weirdly at peace at the same time. The first time I really understood “finding peace” was in rehab. I had been running hard my whole life – always doing something, always trying to prove my usefulness, always bei
May 134 min read


To Sleep? Or not to Sleep?
THAT, is the question. .. and the answer is always YES (as long as it is part of an acceptable sleep schedule) This really hit me, square between the eyes, but to be clear, it's an important factor for all humans ... Sleep isn't just "important" when you live with bipolar disorder, it's one of the biggest factors that can either protect your stability ... or quietly unravel it. And the hard part? Lack of sleep doesn't always feel like a problem at first. I lock my car keys in
May 114 min read


Surrender
When I was 15, a therapist recommended that I speak with a psychiatrist for Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder. It was ignored, at the time, by my parents, because it had seemed as if everyone that went to therapy was being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I went back to therapy at 29, when I gave up the “good fight” and worked hard to maintain my sobriety. Again, the same mental illness diagnosis was suggested. This time it was ME who refused to accept, dec
Apr 73 min read
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