Life-Changing Mirror: Part III - Who Rescued Who?

Remember the session with Evy regarding her anger towards anyone in recovery (refer to Part II)? I was in the same area as her in the building when she came to me and in a very excited voice said, “I have a present for you, do you have some time?” I was heading into a meeting, so I told her I would come find her after. She told me, if I missed her and she had already left to go out of state, she would leave it with the front desk.

When the meeting was over, I was on a mission to find Evy. She was sitting in the dayroom with a number of other peers.

Evy took out a piece of paper and handed it to me. It looked like some sort of mix between a grocery list and treasure map.. I asked her if she would like to read it or explain, or if she would prefer I dive into it when alone. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said,

I’ve never felt comfortable asking anyone the question I had asked you. The answer makes so much sense. I don’t know what to say that will explain how thankful I am for you taking this time with me. I have been carrying this my whole life. I have been judging my whole life. I have been angry my whole life. Never again. You changed my life, my perspective, I can’t begin to explain the impact. I am so grateful.

I was speechless. In my line of work the reward isn’t money or power or public recognition. It's not a bonus or a company sponsored lunch or more PTO days. The #reward is this. Whether someone gains clarity about their past, is able to let go of pain, insurmountable #grief, #anger, #fear, etc. the reward is priceless. When I work with people, I do my very best to identify their immediate needs, understand their history, explain how I can relate to them, instill they are not alone, and provide them a #safespace to talk about anything and everything.

It is my goal that they walk away with hope. Hope drives out negative energy. Letting negative energy go gives us a foundation to begin rebuild our foundation. After all, we can always start over.

This is the reason why I was able to find #happiness even in looking back. I strongly believe that the path I chose was not coincidental. The people I’ve met through the years is not coincidental, the pain and suffering I experienced was not an accident, the choices I made, the relationships I held or left, and the hope I now feel, is meaningful, they were not in vain.

I went to the school of Megan Grace Clarke, one that no one else went to, yet can still learn from, as well as me from them.

When I left the hospital that day, I smiled, whether or not Evy would continue to have the clarity, for just a moment she experienced peace, one can only hope it sticks. Someone struggling felt safe, heard, and #validated. Someone with such a #resentment and associated anger, left their #judgment and gained #understanding and #insight. Evy always referred to her past feeling towards those with dealing addiction, whether they were in recovery or not as having "the ick for alcoholics". Ecstatic to say that the Ick! is gone!

This is what it’s all about. This is why I endured the life I have, why I decided to change careers with confidence, and why I make the choices I make today.

It’s all about a single step, everyday. Forward. And, for me, that is the only place I want to go.

Takes grit, takes honesty, takes hope .. just hang on, you deserve a life beyond your wildest dreams. My prayer is that at some point you feel joy and hope on your own personal ride.

As far as, "Who rescued who?" It was a reciprocal effort. We both rescued the other. And that connection and clarity is one neither of us will ever forget.