Certain People Never Change

"Hindsight is 20/20."

How many times do we have to hear that before it really sinks in? In my case, it's infinite.

One morning, I was contacted by a woman who was dating the same guy I was. She wanted to know if I had anything I needed to say to her. My children were in the car, and I immediately went to #panicattack mode. Hands are shaking, breath is short, I'm sweating - and I can't make sense of any of this. If I had found out she existed, I would be doing the same fucking thing.

I've known this man for 5 years. We had a couple of start-stops until we started, and didn't stop. We finally landed on the same page, and the #relationship began. Or did it? As soon as I was starting to trust again, he #ghosts me.

No explanation, no signs that he would do this. And he was gone. I was hurt, but had done this to him in the past. I didn't want to hold it against him. Just a couple months later he reaches out. "Meg, it's [ME], I'm so sorry. Let me explain."

So I let him. He always told me we had a #connection unlike any other, and I, too, felt that. He promised to be different this time, to work on his #communication and responsiveness, to not ghost me, to be honest with me, to not have any other girls on the side, to go to lunch, and to dinner, hang out with both friend groups, to introduce the kids, and to be my #safe person I had always wanted. He used to ask where we would've been if we began us those years ago when we met, and I assured him we would have only crashed and burned then, we both needed to mature.

And he was. This time was different. He was all the things I knew he could be, and he had explained needing the time away the last time to work on himself, to mature, and he didn't want that to bring me down. He came back to me as an adult, talking about "forever" and that was his whole point all along.

But it was a lie.

Every kiss, every hug, every word, every dinner, every lunch, every walk, every movie, every game, every shared experience, every good morning, every goodnight, every EVERYthing was fake.

You know what I would tell a friend if this happened to them?

"You can only expect someone to be themselves."

So, Manuel, I never wanted to believe this was who you are, but I also never wanted to believe that my heart could break so many times in one lifetime.

Good luck keeping up with all the lies, I can only hope that you figure out who you really are, and share that with the rest of the world. Maybe there's a good version of you somewhere in there. And, you know what? Admittedly, I feel like I've lost something amazing, but it's actually you that did. And you're lying yet again if you say otherwise.

May you find your way some how.